The Flight of the Hummingbird

For as long as I could remember, I wanted to be something. When I was around 3 or 4, I remember having an oven with plastic plates, cups and food, and I would play pretend with my dad and he would pretend eat everything I made. I want to be a chef, I’ll cook for people because it makes them happy, yes, I want to be a chef, I thought. When I was 8 or 9, I remember writing a story that had come up when I was coming up with a lie to tell my parents about why I didn’t want to do something. I can’t remember the details, but I remember coming up with the story, I had the wildest imagination. I know, I can be a writer and a story teller. It’s fun, and it makes people feel something. Fast forward to a myriad of “I know what I want to be” moments throughout my adolescence and eventually throughout my adulthood.

I went from being a quiet child living in an imaginative world full of possibility and hope, to a very insecure and scared adult that doesn’t have an answer to the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?”. And yet, I keep searching for that thing. In essence, I know some components of what makes me who I am, but the big picture is still unclear. I always look at people like, doctors, engineers, firemen, specialists, who spend most of their adulthood specializing in their fields, walking on the same path, and choosing to stay on it. Whatever their reasons may be, I have never understood how they stay on that path. People like that might say something like, it’s my passion, I’ve always known I wanted to be “…” and I can’t imagine doing anything else. I hate that.

When I look at my path trajectory, it looks a maze with zigzag roads going in so many different directions. When I was 15, I wanted to be a lawyer. All my friends agreed that it made total sense. When I went to college, I decided to study Business. On my second year, I majored in Marketing. After 4 days, I switched majors and went into Tourism. Meanwhile, during those years in college, I started drawing, a talent I never knew I had. In fact, when I was in grade 7 or 8, I hated art class because I could never draw a freaking bird. My friend got into drawing as well, and since I was always into writing, we both decided to come up with a comic strip. We started, but it never manifested into anything. I also got into photography and photoshop during those college years. When I graduated, I started working at a bank as an operational risk officer. Needless to say, that I didn’t last very long at that job. I then moved away to pursue higher education. I lived in Australia for nearly 2 years and I got a degree in International tourism. When I lived there, I was into nutrition and exercise and I immersed myself in both subjects. I finally moved back home and I started making cupcakes and sushi, and I made a micro-business out of it. Two years later, I started working at an international airline company as a Web Content Manager. After a while, I decided that it’s time to go for my Masters and I studied and worked at the same time. I now hold a Masters Degree in Public Relations and Communication. As soon as I graduated I started looking into PHD programs in Psychology. I haven’t done anything with that yet. Nearing my fourth year anniversary at work, I decided that it wasn’t enough and I quit my job. I spent that year traveling for a bit, writing a book (which I haven’t shown to anyone and haven’t even read myself), reading lots of books, watching Ted Talks, running this blog, trying out new breakfast places, and working on finding the next “thing”.

When you look at where I’ve been and where I am, you might think, wow, she has no idea what she’s doing, and you would be completely right at making that assumption because that’s what I think sometimes. But I have something inside me, that guides and pushes me in certain directions, my gut, and I question it, but listen to it, because even though my path is checkered and has many opposing roads, and even though I can’t yet see the big picture, I am constantly learning and always open to new and challenging experiences. And I have a belief that I am in the right place, at the right time, for me at this moment.

This all came about last night when I watched Elizabeth Gilbert speak on Oprah’s SuperSoul.TV. The talk was called “Flight of The Hummingbird – The curiosity driven life”. If your path looks anything like mine, and you find yourself constantly following your curiosity in life and trusting your gut and learning as much as you possibly can from all the experiences you go through, then have a listen to this talk. Let your hummingbird fly, follow your curiosity and enjoy the moment and let go of the guilt of not knowing your “one” true passion. Maybe you don’t have just one passion, maybe you’re a Multipotentialite, a jack of all trades, and that’s just ok. Check out this other talk about Multipotentialite by Emilie Wapnick.

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