I can never truly profess my love for journaling or keeping a diary. I’ve always loved the idea, and I seem to have developed an obsessions for notebooks and notepads. Get me a moleskine or a legal pad and oh my!!!! Come to think think of it, whenever I am traveling to a new destination, and I find myself in the stationary section of a nondescript department store – which seems to happen without me trying – I have to buy some kind of a notebook. The weirder the cover, the better.
If someone walks into my bedroom and sees all the notebooks and notepads I have lying around, they’d probably think “Wow, she must write a lot”. I don’t have the patience for journaling. I always promise myself to journal more or keep a blog and write more often. I am good for a couple of weeks, but there comes a point where the blank pages irritate me beyond belief. I feel the pressure of not having anything to say, the voices tell me that it’s useless, that I should just give it up, finally making me cringe at the sight of the latest journal (notebook). And that’s another annoying thing, why don’t I just use the same notebook for journaling? Every time I decide to journal again, I have to get a new notebook. I literally have a bunch of notebooks that are half empty or filled about a quarter of the way in.
…..and the cycle continues…..
Now that I am trying to be serious about writing, drawing and developing my creative side, I am now finding it more difficult to concentrate and produce than when it was a spontaneous process. This must me a psychological thing. I am not sure what though.
For the first time in my 29 years, I am dedicating the next (insert time period here) to my novel and my art. I don’t doubt the fact that I will finish the novel and the art series I’d been working on. What I doubt is my ability to stay focused long enough to create something good and worth sharing with whoever cares or is intrigued enough.
As much as I’d like to do, produce, journal and work without getting distracted or finding things that make procrastination so tempting, I know myself and I know that the creative journey is bumpy. I am ok with that. If you do what you love, the pain and frustration is not as bad as that resulting from doing what you hate.
I try to have a laid back approach towards everything, including journaling. So, here’s to another entry towards my journal bank.